Have you ever had that lingering 'after' feeling? I mean the feeling you get after you've done something you like. Whether that's going out on a weekend, spending time with the lover, going on a vacation or spending good quality time with family on Christmas.

- That feeling makes you wonder what when right or wrong, it makes you want to crave for more, you regret something you did or emotions that keep on rolling. Frankly, I don't feel any of these but still have that feeling. I feel content.

Yesterday in the train on our way to my grandma's place for boxing day, I suddenly had this urge to let out my emotions. And so I did. Little by little I talked about a few crucial moments I experienced in 2012 that either let me down or am grateful for. Sweet hubby listened to me carefully. When I was done talking about it - you see I never ever talk about deep emotions in public transport: it's personal so it's weird when other people are listening. But somehow I liked talking about it right there right now - I immediately felt a wave of tingly butterflies in my stomach.. I felt content. I felt love.

Words can't describe how someone or an entire family can be they key to my success or freedom. Only by being themselves I learned a life changing lesson. I haven't been as passionate in church as I used to be, because of some major issues going on that I didn't let go off. Which I'm still trying to let go off but will take some time and healing. I'm so grateful for my second family. I've never seen such a loving family and now that I have I know it's possible to be more like that. I don't want to say neglected, but every time there's something big I have never experienced in my own family I think of that little girl in me that so deserved better. Me and my parents are now in a really good place and I'm truly grateful for that.


How about some after-Christmas with some bagsketball.. ha-ha you get it? bag - sketball? How cool is this shot?

Wearing Vintage fur black gilet Primark white blouse New Look grey acid wash jeans Zara black strapped sandals H&M pink clutch bag all old collection.



Have you followed my Christmas adventures on Instagram? Here's a recap for you. On Christmas morning we had a big family breakfast. I spend Christmas day with three different families, which were 14 people and included one baby, a 2-year old and two little dogs. Before and after Christmas dinner we had delicious cheese and flaming pie! For dinner we had Turkey and potatoes.. and we also had these traditional English fire-crackers. Most awesome present I got on Christmas from my mother-in-law. On boxing day I ate 1, 2 delicious food at my grandma's place. And last but not least, have you seen our cheesy Christmas shout-out?

Photos by Samantha van Breugel


  1. you are fantastic baby


  2. yes, i know the feeling you're describing. i actually love how christmas does that. <3

    i definitely agree that family is the best people who will be there for us, no matter what. i've grown closer to mine over the last few years as well, now that all of us (siblings) have grown up.

    merry christmas and happy new year!

    ♥ latest post: "december diary: styling for footzyfolds" at vanilla ice cream | a cebuana's personal style blog ♥

  3. Ik snap helemaal wat je bedoelt als je zegt dat na een grote gebeurtenis je altijd even een moment hebt waarop je even op adem wil komen, even terug wil kijken. Ik heb dit eerlijk gezegd, hoe oppervlakkig ook, vaak na een heel erg goed boek (harry potter in het bijzonder, oh het klinkt steeds oppervlakkiger maar ik ben een redelijk emotioneel persoon dus als een boek goed is hakt het er diep in zeg maar). Dan heb ik vaak een 'en-wat-nu' gevoel.
    Ik ben echt blij om te horen dat het goed gaat tussen jou en je ouders en natuurlijk dat je zoveel warmte en steun hebt gevonden bij je tweede familie en dat je zo'n lieve luisterende man hebt gevonden.
    Een heel gelukkig nieuw jaar alvast!
    Liefs! <333


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