What works with someone else may not work for me. I keep coming back to the basics, to why I love my life and what I really love to do. I don't want to indulge myself in a crowd that pushes people away that don't look or act the way they do. I'm a person who accepts everyone who they are. I may not click with everyone, but that doesn't mean I can't push aside my pride and ego to hug someone if they really need it. I rather not gossip about someone who is seen 'less' than everyone else, because fact is that will only make me feel horrible rather than lift me up. Whatever I put out there, I will get back. So if I'm not willing to help a lost person, nobody will help me when I'll be lost.
I think I come from a generation where it's all about me, myself and I. I don't blame anyone, because my natural instinct goes to selfish reasons and motivations aswell. "What can I get from this? What will it bring me?" I mean.. hello? What about other people? What about them? I will help them out, but for now I just need to this for myself. I call them excuses. Because there's always a reason why we choose our selfish reasons over helping somebody else or being there for somebody else. I don't think anything is fair.. and what is fair to you, may be not to someone else. I just got to roll with the punches and live my life with class.
I'm in a point in my life where I'm willing to give up things I've held onto for too long and see what the outcome is. I don't want to hold on to things, especially material things, that control my life. Life sometimes has a funny way to show you things. I may need to give up my expensive and precious camera to save me from a horrible accident that would happen next week. Things always happen for a reason. I don't believe in luck. I believe things happen because of the decisions and choices we make in life. And how badly we may think we're perfect, and want to change people around us with all our heart, in the end we can only change ourselves. Frustrating? Of course.. I agree. But if I zoom out and see the bigger picture, I should understand that this is only for the better.
I've learned that the only way of growing further is to let go off something or give up on stuff that will keep me standing still and bringing up the past. I want to be happy. Who doesn't? But a happy end result costs a lot of hard work, obedience, patience and a humble attitude. I feel like I can't get to my happy result without making sacrifices. Sacrifices have to be made and I'm more than willing to. Are you?
I'm wearing Zara tweed jacket Pull & Bear turtleneck Mango snakeprint jeans Converse all star ox.
Photos by Samantha van Breugel